Waking up to Rainbows

I woke up this morning to the sight of a gorgeous double rainbow. It was so big that I couldn’t help but see it as soon as I stepped outside my door and something about it immediately lifted my foggy, anti-Monday morning mood. The placement of it, the way it bent just behind the trees – it was as if it was telling me that endless possibilities were waiting just outside my front door.

Now I’m a big believer in signs. I might not always know what they mean but this time it seemed pretty clear. “Stop overthinking. Enjoy this and every moment.”

Despite my best attempts to always keep life simple, I don’t always succeed. This morning, this weekend, and sometimes during vacations, I let worried thoughts slip into my mind.

I think about my mom. At 66, she’s not old by any stretch of the imagination but she is beginning to see herself that way. Perhaps it’s the mound of Medicare, retirement, and insurance paperwork she has to sift through or the numerous things that keep breaking on her 30 year old house that have her feeling old. Regardless, it bothers me to see her so burdened.

I think about my job. I love my work as a writer but even working remotely, I find that I can’t escape the stresses of an office environment. Sometimes I leave my desk not feeling as if I’ve accomplished anything beyond answering the phone or attending a meeting.

I think about money and my relationship with it. For some reason, when I start to accumulate money, regardless of the intention (savings, retirement, vacation, etc.), I feel that it gains the upper hand in my life. I start to obsess over how it gets spent, whether it really will be “enough”, and what would happen if suddenly I didn’t have it anymore.

Sometimes I find myself contemplating what might be more than enjoying what is. The rainbow this morning put that into perspective. I can’t stop my mom from aging but I can help her with the things that she needs help with. I can’t change the fact that I have to earn a living but I can change how I approach doing it. I can’t live without money (though believe me I’d try!) but I can learn to think of it less as a possession and more as a tool.

Thanks, Rainbow, for the wake up call. It was just what I needed today!

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