Mindfulness Amid the Chaos (May Recap)

May just may have been our best month yet – despite the fact that it was also a very crazy month. Let me explain…

When we declared “happiness” to be our pursuit for the year, our main objective was to regain control of our time and get back to doing the things that we enjoyed most in life. Sounds easy but sadly, even when you own your own time, you don’t always get to use it the way you want. This is especially true when certain members of your family act like complete idiots. Those particular family members, if they read this blog, would be highly offended by that statement but since they don’t, I feel really comfortable telling you this. Almost every day I find myself picking up the phone and uttering the words, “they did what??; which is usually answered with something unbelievable like, “left the baby at home alone”, “got fired”, “got arrested”, or, as was the case this month, “got evicted.”

In an environment where one family member (and her boyfriend) can wreak so much havoc, how can we possibly claim to have had a good month? I’ll tell you…it’s all about mindfulness and adaptability. Mindfulness gives you pause. It allows you to take a mental time-out when new information comes in and process that at your own speed. We don’t have to react to every (or any, for that matter) little thing that someone else does with his or her life. While it may be disconcerting and while we may wish they would choose differently, the choice is theirs not ours. The only thing we can control in these situations, is our reaction to them so this month we chose to offer them loving concern instead of our usual “I can’t believe you did this” outrage followed by “let us help you fix it”. And believe it or not, we found peace among the chaos. Enough peace that we were able to take back some of our time and use it for ourselves.

We picked strawberries.

We took Mom camping.

We fed the ducks (quite a few times).

We walked and hiked –   59.2 miles to be exact – and picnicked.

We gardened.

We letterboxed (a lot, including one special trip to Bowling Green, KY)

We had a few fun days with the little one.

And we started planning our fall vacation – 2 weeks in Canada!

We also did a good bit of decluttering (which I’ll talk about later), landed a freelance contract to write 3 grants before August, and stayed on track with our financial goals, even adding another investment to our portfolio. So yes, I think we had a pretty good month.

But back to the elephant on the page…

I’m the kind of person who likes to give others the benefit of the doubt and throughout this blog you’ll see places where I talk about my niece and her boyfriend as young and inexperienced and just trying to figure things out. I love them both very much but since being given a house by his parents in February, they have become someone I don’t recognize. Instead of seeing the house as a hand up, they saw it as a handout and immediately began skipping work; sticking their hands out for more and more. When no one would give them money, they stole things they thought they just had to have (like hair dye!). Even more than that, they nearly destroyed the beautiful little house, D.C.’s parents had taken the time to buy and furnish just for them. A few weekends ago, D.C.’s parents and I had a meeting and determined (with heavy heart) that it was in all of our best interests to let them fail. Sadly, D.C.’s parents are putting the house up for sale. If you’ve ever been in a situation that called for tough love, then you know how hard this is.

You may be wondering why in a blog about minimalism and happiness we would even mention family dysfunction at all. Because this is life. We all have crazy, mixed-up situations that draw us away from our personal journeys. How we choose to deal with them is often the defining point of that journey. Do we let other people’s problems slow or derail our own hopes and dreams? Often the answer is yes, though almost always – and especially in this case – it should be no.

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3 thoughts on “Mindfulness Amid the Chaos (May Recap)

  1. I’m not at all a minimalist but I found your blog via rabbit trails a few months ago and have enjoyed reading your posts even though I can’t relate on the minimalism philosophy. Diversity is the spice of life, isn’t it?

    Anyhoo, I think you are a very gifted writer and I admire your and your S.O’s drive to creating happiness in a chaotic world, with challenging relatives.

    I just wanted to thank you for reiterating the “it’s their choice” and “you have to let them fail” and “we control how we react” wisdom tidbits. I’m simplifying, of course, but I have to rush this comment. I really really need to learn, at the ripe age of 49, to control how I react to people and situations so as to minimize my stress. It’s been an ongoing battle my whole life and as a naturally negatively-inclined person, really a downfall for me. It was a nice reminder to try to practice that 🙂

    Anyhoo, it sounds like you guys accomplished a great deal this past month and managed to live according to your principles, which can be challenging for anyone. Kudos and best luck in June! PS: I love your little garden and your little niece is precious.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Nathalie! It’s a constant battle for us too – trying to control how we react to this crazy world around us – but when you do manage to get it right, life is so much more peaceful. We’re really glad you found our blog. Welcome!!

      Like

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